Friday, March 1, 2002
smokefree
I quit smoking yesterday. Today, I'm just tired from fighting wanting one. I'll be happier when this withdrawl is over, I'm sure -- more money for art supplies, since Washington idiots have voted some kind of zillion dollar tax on the damn things anyway.
Well, at least the government won't be getting more of MY money.
* * *
Nah, not bitchy at all. An actual scene from this morning:
Ben: How're you doing sweetie?
Eliza: (head spins around and she resists saying anything while holding a crucifix) I want to step on the heads of cute and furry kittens.
* * * *
The patch is giving me fucked up dreams though. Last night, there was one about me being a mouse in a Centurion costume, disembowling Canadian teddy bears (who were evil and circumcizing little american babies on a long table) with a nail file. No shit. This afternoon, one about kissing Cliff from Cheers in a bar in Sioux City, IA, and calling my friend Pam, who I haven't talked to in four years or so, and getting lost on my way to her house.
Personally, I think there's some kind of fucked up comic book idea in that first one.
* * * *
I'm going through Twizzlers and carrot sticks like mad. I think I'm going to go from nicotine-addicted to sugar-addicted with REALLY REALLY GOOD night vision.
* * * *
Y'know, it's just plain fucked up that I'm quitting because of Ben. But I am. So there. They always say you should quit something (or make yourself healthy) for yourself, not for someone else, because if you do that, you'll go back to your old habits. And I -am- pretty sick of smoking. Sick of icky breath and stinky fingers. But dear god...the feel of inhalation. The first drag in the morning. The nice chunky smoker's cough...
* * * *
I'm still on Xenadrine, too. Which means I can't smoke OR eat now. Pretty soon, if I, say, give up sex and swearing, too, they could make me a candidate for sainthood. Saint Eliza of the Blackened Lungs maybe?
Okay. Enough drivel. Go read the other site since I post there more. I'm worried about this one's ability to archive -- the page won't show because of some CSS error on my screen, and I don't want to lose everything and all that jazz.
-------e
who would invite you all over
to keep her company, but it's
best to just slide condolences
for Ben under the door with a
VERY LONG STICK right now.
Posted by beth @ 07:05 PM PST [Link]
