Thu 25 Dec 2008
How I Do Everything
Posted by eliza under life
[22] Comments
Merry Christmas, folks.
I just got back yesterday from what turned into a 28-hour-trek across the country in a rented Caliber (in bright monkey-ass blue, no less) from the middle of North Carolina back to Iowa. For those who follow this saga elsewhere, this is the second time I’ve been there in just about as many weeks (been there two of the past three weeks), because honestly? I got home and realized that Home had up and moved on me when I wasn’t looking.
There’s been that subtle perception shift thing going on in my life for the past 18 months or so. As things have heated up, business-wise and personal-life-ish, I noticed some similarities in the things I was looking for by going Home. (Anytime “home” is capitalized, folks, you can pretty much assume I mean Seattle, not the metal box in Iowa where I live.)
I found that I wanted a few things: good friends….mountains…a creative atmosphere…a sense of familiarity. Something. Things, though, that had very little to do with a specific sense of place, and a whole lot more to do with more abstract concepts. Sure, I love the Seattle skyline. I love the weather. I love the way you can bike anywhere. A whole lot of the people. The water, the sky, the trees.
But it’s not specific to Seattle. Not the stuff I REALLY want.
I’ve tried, in the past months, to apply that to where I am now. I really did. I focused more on the people here than anything else, since (just being specific and honest here, no offense to anyone who finds the plains inspiring, which some *do*, I’m sure), the landscape is much less inspiring for me than, oh, say, an empty cardboard box.
It just didn’t *fit*. I’m allergic to everything. The weather literally makes me ill. The politics freak me out. The people I know *rule*, but OMG THE CORN. (I’m allergic to corn pollen. Literally.) And the pesticides. Migraines, anyone?
I need me some mountains. I can deal with temperature fluctuations and pollen if it means I can still stand somewhere and look up and see the earth all around me. Trees and green instead of corn and yellow. It’s just better for me.
Enter North Carolina.
It was kind of by accident, really. I had other business in Greensboro, NC. (Big stuff, can’t talk about it much yet. But big and unrelated to any of this brain nonsense.) I had plans to fly out, stay in a hotel and meet a few people, do some Lime & Violet meet n’ greet-ing with some folks, and fly home. I fully expected to think it was nice and all, but no Seattle.
Oops.
After four days, I kinda fell in love. With people, with the drawl, and the relaxed feel, and the neighborhoods, and the trees. I extended my trip for four more days. (And found out there are something like six HUNDRED letterboxes, just in the Greensboro area ALONE. I kid you not. The mind boggles, considering there are just over 50 in the entire *state* of Nebraska. Seriously.)
I flew home with some trepidation. I mean, really — here I was, cheating on my Home with another place with trees and mountains within driving distance — and I didn’t care all that much. I hadn’t had the time to develop the iron hooks in my brain the way I had with Home, but I was definitely feeling the infidelity.
Less than a week later, while sitting here in -3F temperatures (no, seriously. The HIGH for the day was NEGATIVE THREE….), missing some people and freezing my ass off, I made a deal with myself: Finish the Valentine’s Day LE package for Happy Housewife (ironic, that name…), and I’d get in the car and just *go* for a little while.
Three days later, I was here:
Just between the Tennessee/North Carolina border, with both windows down, feeling the mist of the morning curling my hair, speeding along at 70 mph toward my geographical mistress.
Houston, we have a problem.
It’s cheaper than Seattle. Housing is less than half what it would be at Home. I have built-in friends whom I already miss. I could finally scale back my life to a reasonable level, get some external office/lab/studio space and continue L&V remotely. I have a new job on the horizon, starting soon(ish), which isn’t geography-specific. I have some big things coming up, but nothing that isn’t movable based on *where* it’s done, just *when*.
I do have some things I *have* to do first. I need to clean up the rest of my life here, which is much easier than it was a year ago (I got rid of so much stuff, people…seriously, here. You have no idea. *I* still have no idea. Huge severings and shuffle-offs and big reality checks resulting in way less physical encumberances.), but is still considerable. I need to get some things in order so that systems can be put in place to make everything easier. I need to do some seriously strategic planning so I can balance everything, should I go in that direction.
To be a hundred percent transparent, too — I’d be doing this alone. Take that as you think I mean it, because you’re probably right. I’d be on my own again at 37 years old, and that’s a little scary. I’m used to the Crazy that is my life as it is, even a move toward something less painful and difficult would be a big scary change, so I waffle. A lot.
Not that I’ve ever backed off a challenge before this. Especiallly when it comes to geographical changes. I’m less prone to moving to a new state just because it’s Tuesday these days, but a lot of *that* comes from having so much stuff anchoring me to one place at a time. And two weeks in hotels, living with literally a suitcase and an office-in-a-bag has shown me in a real, concrete way that all the Stuff is just that…*stuff*. I can get by with not-so-much of it, and still be happy and creative and productive.
How you do anything is how you do everything.
T. Harv Eker
I tend to live like I knit: I start things, try on projects and lives for a while, get a feel for them and see if it’s something I want to commit to before I dive in with both feet, obsess until it’s done, and love the finished object with all its mistakes and flaws, all the while trying on other things for size, just to cement the fact that I’m in the right place/time/project for me.
I cast on North Carolina in early December. Memorized its stitch pattern and the feel of the fabric. Compared it to both reality and the ideal.
And I think it’s a project I want to take on.
I had other plans for this entry. The Eker quote, above, left me a little freaked out at the way I tend to do small things and how it reflects the way I do big things, but honestly — that’s not where my mind is. I’m in a state of redesign, refiguring the stitch counts of my life and the yarn I’m using to make this crazy blanket, and really…there’s no point judging the finished object from a swatch.
2009 looks like it’s going to be onehellofayear.






what a journey you have been on, and i am excited to see where it will unfold from here. it is time for you to fly, so unfurl those fledgling wings and soar. merry christmas, you have given yourself the best gift of all.
Big decisions are always scary but I know you will do what is right. Selfish me hopes you do move to NC because Greensboro is about 2.5 hours away. When you are ready we’ll arrange an appearance at our LYS!
Miss V – I admire you so much for all of the changes you’re making – that takes a lot of intestinal fortitude, esp. the moving part. You know you have all our support out in the LnV empire.!
Hugs
Kate
PS – if you ever want to escape to the West we have a nice cabin in the mountains outside Prescott AZ.
I think you need to do whatever makes you happy. As far as we know, this is the only life we get and it’s too freaking short to spend being unhappy. There is enough misery in the world without turning yourself inside out trying to be somewhere that isn’t Home unless there’s A Damn Good Reason. From what you’ve been saying lately, your Damn Good Reason has stopped being a damn good reason. I’m all for trying your best at something but if something really isn’t working and is making you ill and miserable, then that thing needs to change.
Welcome Home.
You do what you have to, I had to threaten to leave without hubby to get home, and luckily he decided to come with. It was to that point though, and it is hard to make that decision. Good luck!
We’re all here when you need us. Can’t wait to see you doing whats right for you and to see you happy.
Sometimes, you have to close your eyes and jump. We’ll be there when you land :)
I gotta say, that 3rd pic, of the highway? Looks exactly like the highway mom and I were driving on (in NC) when I first had her listen to the show ;)
We would welcome you on the East Coast, and I know its scary crazy, but you’ve got so many people out here who would NOT let you fall no matter what.
Welcome! If you are in the Raleigh area, give me a holla’. You are going to love it here.
Wow, though decisions but actually since we can’t be sure that this is not our only life we better live happy whereever that is. An unhappy life is something to make one ill. I’m lucky to be somewhere where I love beeing (luckily for me no mountains but a lot of seashore near by) with someone whom I love and who loves me. We’ll be here for you (although I’ll be a little less happy if the show does not continue but still you need to be happy and healthy!)
It sounds like you wrote from your heart but that your head is in the right place. Jump in with both feet!
Good luck to you. As a born and bred Tarheel, you couldn’t have picked a nicer place. Plus, selfish thought here – you could go to SAFF!
You must always follow the heart – the head tends to be right behind anyway!
Life is too short to be unhappy and I really admire you for having the strength to just up and go. It’s a huge change but it will be so worth it.
(MINUS THREE? That is just wrong.)
Hey!
Come on down to North Carolina. I am over in Apex…about 90 minutes from GSO. I love it. NC is fun with a lot of bigger cities close by so if you don’t like what is happening in your neighborhood, roll about 45-60 miles and there is something else going on.
However, do be forewarned. We have BIG TIME allergens here in NC….ragweed in the fall and pollen that turns EVERYTHING yellow. Everyone runs around hyped on Benadryl and Sudafed!
Best wishes and holler if you want some info. My ‘rents are in High Point and I am over here near Raleigh so we have a good chunk of the state covered!!!
I am so relieved for you. Granted I know I’m projecting a lot of what I think I know about you and your situation on the whole thing, but I am still so glad you’ve finally gotten to *that place*. I’m so glad you understand that you are worth so much more. There are a *lot* of people who love you, even though we’ve never met you. We care for you and want you to be happy. (which, from what I know, which granted, ain’t much, is more than you are getting from the person who should be expressing that the most. Did that even make sense??)
I know how you feel about home. My family lives in a different area of the country but I love where I live – snow, mountains, clear fresh air. Good for you – life is short – follow your heart – be happy.
I have Evernote on the computer and never use it. I’ve been using Basecamp, but you’ve encouraged me to try other options.
Thanks
Wow, I always miss the biggest news when I’m away for the holidays!
I moved to NC in 05 for school and, much like you, immediately fell in love with the region. I can totally relate to you about just how “homey” it feels.
Congratulations on gathering the courage to take this step. I wish you all the best in finishing your business in the land of corn and starting your new home.
I remember I found this site (not this blog, the other one) that said you were biking from Home to home. If I remember correctly, a later update talked about your injury and then you returned home and I’ve followed your journey since (not in the stalker sense… artgirl, knitgirl fan!) I am in awe at how you have evolved and totally get the next steps you need to take. If by chance you take the longer route through northern IL (near The Fold, ahem, not to temp you or anything!) and need a layover you are welcome here anytime.
North Carolina is wonderful! The mountains, the green-ness, the biodiversity! We would love to have you on the east coast! My tattoo artist is in Greensboro and my best friend just moved to Asheville so I would love to stop by from time to time and help you get acclimated haha.
Amber
Norfolk, VA
Oh! Well, there’s my answer. Best wishes on this latest chapter, Eliza!